I'm So Tired!

Caregiver Exhaustion is real! I can honestly say I am exhausted most of the time. My 99 year-old mother has been living with me for six years and I'm tired of being tired!

Grandparents talk about how exhausting it is to watch their grandchildren for any length of time. It does seem like our energy for that kind of vigilance and engagement wanes as we get older. Yet, many of us have taken on the burden of caregiving at a time in our lives where we just don’t have that kind of energy anymore.

I was able to get a way for a few days recently for a much-needed break. I had to fly to Portland, Maine and rent a car to drive to New Hampshire to visit family. The best part of the trip? I got in so late at night that I had to stay in a hotel. I was supposed to check out by 11:00 the next morning. I called the front desk twice asking for a later check out time.  I could have stayed in that bed all day. It was heaven!

I think that as caregivers, we don’t always recognize just how tired we are until we have a chance like that to just sleep and have no one needing anything from us. It is a double-edged insight, however, because it makes it that much harder to return to caregiving responsibilities.

As a caregiver, it is hard to “complain” about being tired. It is a permanent state so I even get sick of hearing myself repeat this complaint. And, I never know what kind of response I’ll get. I sometimes get the non-helpful suggestions of “Why don’t you put your Mom in facility (as if I had never thought of that) or “you need to take care of yourself better.” I have even been hit with, “Well, you chose this. You should have known what you were getting into.” Really? 

I get it. It is hard for others to understand. I like writing my blog posts as my way of letting other caregivers know that someone DOES understand!  And, hopefully to foster more understanding from others. So, instead of telling a caregiver they need to take care of themselves, maybe offer them a free bed in a quiet house.